How many times have we all heard someone say to their spouse or significant other, “you complete me”? And how are we interpreting that saying? In a positive light? As something we endeavour find in our life? As something to be admired, supported, and glamorized when we do? We can do that, although it’s entirely unhealthy if we but look at it from the standpoint of what that combination of words represents. What it implies. And it’s rather obvious. While the overt sentiment is meant as a compliment to one from another, the first and most obvious implication is this-that the one giving the seeming compliment considers him or herself to be lacking a part of themselves. How can that possibly be? Quite simply, it cannot. It is an illusion of the mind.
Human interaction can be rather fickle. Especially if we consider ourselves incomplete. If we deny our completeness, then every action we choose to take is based on a sense of lack or scarcity- based in need. The give and take game in which the taker takes what is given for a sense of “completeness” and the giver loses what was given. If either has not yet found in themselves what they believe they lack, anything given can only serve to fill that sense of lack temporarily , and more will be needed from the other as time goes on, and the more dependent each becomes on the other, and since more is always being asked, the feeling of depletion gains strength along with the sense of dependency. Deep attachments are formed through this cycle of give and take, and it’s never enough. Never. How can it be? How can two people who consider themselves incomplete possibly presume to give meaningful completeness to another? They cannot. Because of the uniqueness of each, they cannot. Neither actually has anything of real value to give to the other that could fill in their imaginary lack-of-self. At least not with any lasting, or healthy effect. It becomes a deep entanglement of needs not being met by the other who cannot truly meet them.
Mirror the above to the universal law of offering and receiving, which only serves to the principle of increase. While the give and take game is focused upon completing what is considered incomplete and therefore looked upon as a need, offering and receiving are dependent upon offer only. And who could only make offers unless they have already found themselves complete and in need of nothing? And who could ask anything of another had they not already found themselves complete and in need of nothing? Of course we all need things in the material world, chiefly money, but money is not what we’re talking about here. We are talking about emotional healing and relationships, and it can be so very hard to disentangle what true needs are, and what toxic emotional demands are.
Where does this sense of lack come from, at least within the context of intimate relationships? If we are already complete, how can we feel as if we aren’t? The answer is in the energies within. Regardless of the specifics of surface level compatibility based upon life experience, the energetics have a far greater, yet much more difficult to notice effect upon our relationships. I’m not talking about the “raise your frequency” hamster wheel of new age spiritual comparison joust. I’m speaking to the quality of the different natures of energy that are within us, and without. The overarching archetypes of yin and yang, the goddesses and the gods- the Divine feminine and Divine masculine.
So what does this symbolism represent? What do they serve to portray? There are many, many interpretations, often heavily laden with human projections of anger, shame, pride and revenge as humans are so prone to doing. But the bottom line is that they simply describe the dynamics of energetic natures and behaviors of literally the entire cosmos. And being a part of that cosmos as we are, it certainly pays to give such symbolism a fair place in our minds. These dynamics are in there already anyways, so why not get it out in the open to ourselves?
The Divine feminine. What are its, (not her), characteristics? How would we properly quantify the essence of Divine feminine source energy? Well, just that- energy. Wild, untamed, undirected, expansive, creative and deconstructive simultaneously, nurturing and full yet focus-less.
The Divine masculine. What are its, (not his), characteristics? It’s a structure, rigid, resilient, protective, directive, solid, and defined, yet has no creative, agitating energy in and of itself.
These characteristics compliment one another perfectly. The wild untamed feminine, and the rigid structure. Within us all we spend a fair amount of perceived time learning to discern how to reconcile imbalances of these two natural inherent qualities of Being, but they are intertwined. They have to be. To say we have to work on one or the other is simply dualistic thinking, because to work on one must involve the other. They cannot he separated, but they certainly can be misunderstood. Their complimentary nature to one another can easily be overlooked with a dualistic mindset that sets them apart from and opposed to one another. And such mindset misses the aim altogether, because they are not really imbalanced. They are misinterpreted, because there is always an equal amount of either in the completeness of the whole, and therefore lack, in essence, is an impossibility.
For a force as wild and free as the Divine feminine, and for a structure so rigid and unwavering as the masculine, what is the biggest “fear” each would have? What would be the very hardest thing for each to face, and surrender into? For the feminine, it’s consent, and for the masculine, it’s submission. The very thing that is hardest for each to fathom, they, (we), must find their,(our), way to doing in order to work together in harmonious symbiotic accord. The masculine must submit to the will of the feminine, and the feminine must consent to be focused through the masculine, for each, of themselves, cannot serve their purpose unless the other is present. We are just as blinded by a bright light as we are by total darkness. This isn’t a so much a direct balancing act, and while it may seem each side would be making a sacrifice of itself for the other, really it’s a mutual act of surrender, of Trust, and of Devotion, resulting in a true Divine Union within.
So what of men and women? Who plays what role here? Conventional wisdom would point to what seems obvious-men represent the masculine and women represent the feminine, but wait! Something is amiss in the formal presentations! When lovemaking occurs, the woman does not enter the man, it is quite the opposite! And a creative energy is released by the man’s form into the form of the woman! The opposite of the way the archetypes operate. Does this mean men represent the feminine and women the masculine? Well, no. Actually it’s both. The point is that the inner and outer worlds are opposites, but not opposing one another. And to take this one, (or more), step further, the outer manifestation of “imbalance”, or misinterpretation, can and frequently does manifest as the opposite of the inner energetic state in any individual regardless of gender. An unfocused feminine/weakened masculine on the inside presents as an overly controlling, commanding intense masculine trait on the outside, and an overbearing masculine/restricted feminine on the inside presents as overly emotional, indecisive, insecure and over sensitive trait on the outside. And of course what would be so attracted to one another but these two combinations of imbalanced/misunderstood energetic traits in any given couple? What would scream, “you complete me” to one another, on unseen and unconscious levels, more than that?
There is a ton of information on this subject all over the internet and in spiritual circles. The most prevalent idea is to ascribe feminine qualities to women, and masculine qualities to men, which indicates a deep and and rather hard to shake habit of thought that humans have of identifying as the form, rather than identifying as the spirit, (or better still- BOTH the spirit AND the form through which spirit flows…), which lead us directly to the state of division we can so easily assume is true, creating things like the patriarchal family model among a myriad of other imbalanced views of human existence at large which are in direct conflict with cosmic harmony, natural equality, the complimentary interconnected nature of opposites, and collective symbiosis with others and with spirit alike. While this is perfectly understandable, it is quite obviously a mistake. “Men” can exhibit traits of toxic femininity, just as “women” can exhibit traits of toxic masculinity. All One needs do is to look through the rather convincing illusion that form presents in order to acknowledge Our sameness beyond surface level appearances while still honoring formal differences, in order to re-cognize our understanding of ourSelves at the deepest of levels, knowing what we are beyond and in addition to the uniqueness of the who, finding true Self respect, Humility and Trust, for we cannot offer that which do not allow ourselves to receive. To operate in the spirit of offering in perfect Love and perfect Trust, we can clearly see how the Law of Increase is at work at all times within the present moment, the implications of which are truly Infinite. To know our innate completion is to know that our origin, and destination, are Eternal within the Sacred instant at the center of it All.
Blessings, Love, Namaste 🙏🏼